Oct 23, 2007

Random Mail

Where does this crap come from!... and it's not even in my junk mail. The usual sex emails telling me who is shagging what donkey. Them I'm getting used to. Bingo! What is that all about.

I get emails by the dozen inviting me to play Bingo on line. Can someone see my bingo wings flapping about in my t.shirts or what. Horoscopes, I get half a dozen a day. I have to admit though I read them, and keep the most positive, haha. Mystic divas' and sceptic Teds' must have me down as a right sad case. Do I want to know where Mr Right is waiting for me? Do I want to know the day, time and second that I am going to win a fortune? Well no actually, I don't. Mr Right cant be all that if he is just hanging about waiting for me to find him. I like my men to be assertive, not hanging around like a limp lettuce. Fortune, now that I like the sound of. Only problem with that is, if mystic Diva and Sceptic Ted know the precise moment it will happen, you can bet your life they will be waiting round the corner to mug me!

I have started to email these randoms back. Just top see, you never know, I might just end up with Mr Right a bingo caller, who shakes his balls and nets me a fortune!

Click Here to Read More..

Oct 19, 2007

Digital Scrapbooking - scrap

I had a lovely idea. I was going to make some really nice digital scrapbooks. I have seen them all over the web. How hard could they be.

I read umpteen articles and downloaded loads of freebies to get me started. God, my kids would be so proud of me! Then I opened my Photoshop program. That's when it all went wrong. Photoshop was no good, way to hard. I downloaded Ulead, seemed simple enough. I opened it, then closed it. I could make cards or
calenders but not scrapbooks. Went to the usual download sites, downloaded three more programs. Hooray! I made my first background. A little pastel green gingham check. Ah if it turned out OK I could make lots of baby collections for our impending new arrival. Add a few frames and tags, er, hello, whats going on. Nothing would stick to each other. 7 hours later and I have given up. If any one knows an idiots guide for digital scrap booking Please let me know. ASAP.

Click Here to Read More..

Oct 17, 2007

Assertive Me

Well, I've done it! I have begun my new assertive life. So why do I feel so guilty? 8.30am and my door knocks. Who the hell is knocking this early. My dogs are going crazy.

Gizmo has stamped all over my head, not to mention pissed on me (well, he's just a puppy) and Dolly is bounding round the room with last nights toast stuck to her fur.The Gas man. 'Mornin' Love', like I'd be his love! Fat, bald and strange odour don't quite do it for me. Alarm bell ring. sirens screech and I feel slightly sick. The house looks likes a whirl wind has just been through it and the dogs are still going crazy. 'I'm dead sorry, could you come back tomorrow (you know, like when I've tidied my house and bleached the bog!) I'm not very well'. 'Sorry Love, it wont take me more than half an hour' my god, he was almost singing. Here's the good bit. 'look I'm not your love and you will have to come back later'. I slammed the door. Phew, that wasn't too bad. 11.25 am. Door knocks. 'morning love'. Mr gas man, again. This time I let him in. I stamped around the kitchen while the dogs made it loudly known that they weren't happy being put in the garden. Mr gas man was still as cheerful as ever (made me want to strangle him). His phone rang or should that be his phone cried, like a baby. 'It's me ring tone love', ah bless him. My heart melted! Dear Mr Gas Man must of been nearly sixty.'The gran' kids' he said referring to the ring tone laughing. Now I feel like a total cow! This lovely cheerful man was only trying to do his job and even after I had ripped his head off earlier he still had a lovely cheerful manner. This saying what I think lark, isn't going to be as easy as I thought.

Click Here to Read More..